How can I get a job as a charity organiser ?

In February you could have gone (were you so inclined) to a nice dinner at the Melbourne Exhibition and Convention Centre and coughed up $195 for your consomne and sauteed chook.

A lot of people did. More than $190,000, was raised as people quaffed a chardonnay and listened to Cherie Blair waffle on whatever she usually waffles about. (If you know what she talks about -please let me know, I'm curious. How to make real estate deals under the carpet? Insider Trading?)

However there wasn't much left of the $190,000. After Cherie pocketed her gratuity, and and multimillionaire organiser Max Markson paid himself for the organising, there was just $16,000 left to give to charity.

How can I get a job like this?

The so-called "anti-terror" laws modelled on the English legislation after the bombings in London.

The infamous document, in a PDF Download

Download your copy while it's still about

Last month the states agreed to allow extensions of up to 14 days for detentions when a terrorist act is believed imminent. The suspect must then be released if no terrorist act occurs.

Detentions are secret but suspects are allowed to contact a family member or employers to say they are safe but, "not able to be contacted for the time being". If they disclose the detention they can be jailed for up to five years.

Under the bill, the Government can apply to a court for control orders on terrorist suspects who have not been charged. These orders include house arrest, preventing them using the telephone or internet and restricting their social contacts and work opportunities. Suspects can also be fitted with tracking devices.

The suspect's lawyer can be shown the control order but not necessarily the evidence or reasons behind it.

The orders can last up to 12 months and can then be renewed any number of times.

Persons under control orders may be given "counselling or education" if they agree.

The bill does limit to three months control orders on those aged between 16 and 18.

Also contained in the legislation are wide-ranging search powers that will compel the production of any documents relating to "any serious offence", regardless of any laws protecting privacy or legal privilege.,

The new laws are to be debated this month, after the Labor premiers agreed to their broad outline at the recent terrorism summit in Canberra.

The proposed laws have been strongly criticised by human rights lawyers and some Muslim leaders, who have described them as draconian.

The premiers and Mr Howard insist the new laws contain sufficient safeguards to ensure they are not abused.

Andy Borowitz has a nose for the news.

You remember, of course, his scoop on Barbara Bush when, just days after the former First Lady made widely publicized remarks about people made homeless by Hurricane Katrina, he revealed that Mrs. Bush had been moved to “a new location away from television cameras and microphones.” He added it was 'working very well for her'.

Borowitz reports that GOD’S PHONE LOGS PROVE HE DID NOT SPEAK TO BUSH and that the president’s version of events was “bogus'.

According to Borowitz, God said, “Dude, I don’t even know the guy.”

I don't know whether to laugh or cry

The push to make us paranoid just went up another notch. How stupid is this????

CANBERRA, Oct 7 (Reuters) - People living or working above the 13th floor should own a parachute so they can escape if their building is attacked, a former top Australian policeman said. "I just think anyone who works above the 13th floor, which is the limit that the fire brigade ladders can reach, needs to seriously consider something like that," former Victorian state police chief commissioner Kel Glare told Australian radio. "They may not lead to a successful escape but the chances are a hell of a lot better than staying in a burning or bombed building."

Glare said many of the people killed in the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on the World Trade Centre towers in New York could have been saved if they had some means of escape . : . 10/07/05 03:06 ET

I rest my case