John Brogden, foul-mouthed misogynist, rabid racist and former Opposition Leader of New South Wales, locked himself in his electoral office late last night, drank a bottle of gin and scratched his wrists

His wife called emergency services and the whole drama of breaking down doors, shrieks, stretchers, fainting staff, sirens and bloody carpets (we pay for the cleaning) was played out. Result, one disgraced politician with superficial cuts to his wrists and a bellyfull of alcohol. Judging by the standards of politicians, the grog swilling was par for the course - and they're used to the swill in NSW.

There seemed to be a large number of people with cameras and instant phone lines to news services about as well. One might say inordinate.

This morning Brogden is in a 'stable condition' in Royal North Shore Hospital with "minor injuries". What a shame, only minor ...

Brogden was forced to apologise on Monday after insulting Helena Carr, wife of the state's former leader Bob Carr. His abusive "mail-order bride" slur was made while drinking at a civil function (we paid for it) during which Brogden grasped the buttocks of a female journalist and made a sleazy sexual proposition to another.

Did you ever notice the Roman Numerals for forty are XL?

Harold Hark Found

I've missed Hark. Alas, another victim of the Right, forced to flee his native home. But I've received a message

When the Padre said to his flock, "He is risen, He is not here," he was probably
referring to someone other than Harold Hark. Nevertheless, Hark did also rise, fleeing aboard a Qantas flight to Europe, from where he hoped never again to hear the name John Howard. Before departing, he promised to send occasional reports of his adventures

His friend and colleague, Theodore, is compiling Bile Grip, from where the message on Hark's whereabouts originated

Tampa Day Rally

Don't forget this Friday evening. Meet outside the State Library at 5.00 p.m

Put some pressure on the little runt, demand freedom for all refugees. We must work to ensure that meaningful change is made in regards to Australia's shameful treatment of refugees.

End mandatory detention
Close the camps
End the Pacific Solution

Stop it, you'll go blind

Researchers have finally found evidence for what good Catholics have known all along


Erotic images turn you Blind!

The Onion hits the nail on the head at times

"As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling."

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University."


Intelligent Falling from the Onion

Babies have been stopped from boarding planes at airports throughout U.S.A because their names are similar to those of possible terrorists on the government's "no-fly list."

It sounds like a joke, but it's not funny

Ingrid Sanden's 1-year-old daughter was stopped in Phoenix before boarding a flight home to Washington. (Children under 2 don't need tickets but Sanden purchased one for her daughter to ensure she had a seat.) "It was bizarre," Sanden said. "I was hugely pregnant, and I was like, 'We look really threatening.'"

Sarah Zapolsky and her husband had a similar experience last month while departing from Dulles International Airport outside Washington. An airline ticket agent told them their 11-month-old son was on the government list. They were able to board their flight after ticket agents took a half-hour to fax her son's passport and fill out paperwork.

Well-known people like Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, Rep. John Lewis, D-Ga., and David Nelson, who starred in the sitcom "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," also have been stopped at airports because their names match those on the lists.

Airlines still have the duty to check passengers' names against those supplied by the government. That job has become more difficult - since the 2001 attacks the lists have swelled from a dozen or so names to more than 100,000 names, according to people in the aviation industry who are familiar with the issue. They asked not to be identified by name because the exact number is restricted information.

The Transportation Security Administration has a "passenger ombudsman" who will investigate individual claims from passengers who say they are mistakenly on the lists -- 89 children have submitted their names to the ombudsman. Of those, 14 are under the age of 2.

Ethics for sale. A sad, but true story

"The Perfect Gift for that Special White Collar Criminal or 20-something-going-on-2 Celebrity"

Ir's been said before you can buy almost anything on ebay -- well it's Ethics now, in a bottle. Priceless

Ethics for Sale

SEOUL (Reuters) - A South Korean man who played computer games for 50 hours almost non-stop died of heart failure minutes after finishing his mammoth session in an Internet cafe, authorities said Tuesday.

The 28-year-old man, identified only by his family name Lee, had been playing on-line battle simulation games at the cybercafe in the southeastern city of Taegu, police said.

Lee had planted himself in front of a computer monitor to play on-line games on Aug. 3. He only left the spot over the next three days to go to the toilet and take brief naps on a makeshift bed, they said.

"We presume the cause of death was heart failure stemming from exhaustion," a Taegu provincial police official said by telephone.

Lee had recently quit his job to spend more time playing games, the daily JoongAng Ilbo reported after interviewing former work colleagues and staff at the Internet cafe.

After he failed to return home, Lee's mother asked his former colleagues to find him. When they reached the cafe, Lee said he would finish the game and then go home, the paper reported.

He died a few minutes later,

reuters.myway.com

LONDON (Reuters) - Do chuggers bother you when you want to rock up to a restaurant with your cockapoo to hoover a supersized ruby murray?

Confused? Then you need to refer to the new Oxford Dictionary of English to understand a host of new words that appear for the first time in its latest edition.

Among the new entries are "potty-mouthed" (meaning using or characterized by bad language), "lush" (very good) and "scopophilia" (sexual pleasure derived chiefly from watching others when they are naked or engaged in sexual activity).

Some words, such as "demographic" (a particular sector of a population) have become commonplace but only now make it into the dictionary.

They are joined by those emerging from new technology like "phishing" (fraudulently sending emails purporting to be from reputable firms to get individuals to reveal personal details).

Many of the new words are simply formed by mixing two others together, such as charity and mugger making "chugger" (someone who approaches passers-by in the street asking for donations for a charity) and "labradoodle" (a cross between a Labrador retriever and a poodle).

"To suit the pace of our lifestyle today there is a growing tendency to mix words together to make entirely new ones called blends," the dictionary researchers said.

They also said there were now 350 ways of insulting someone -- from "chucklehead" to "muppet" -- ten times more than there were complimentary expressions, while there were 50 words for good-looking women, there were only about 20 for men.

And for those without a dictionary to hand, "rock up" means arrive, "cockapoo" is a mix between a cocker spaniel dog and a poodle, "hoover" means to eat something quickly, and "ruby murray" is rhyming slang for a curry

Here we go. Holidays for teddy bears

"The holiday of a teddy's lifetime with a host of activities to tempt teddy away from the loving arms of his owner for a week or two."

"Often, bears or other stuffed toys have gone through a lot and a vacation is a great opportunity for the real man's best friend to see something different for a change."

The teddies spend an action packed week sightseeing, playing games and visiting a traditional teddy bears picnic, followed by a visit to a Munich beer house.

Teddy owners can also choose special activities to suit the nature of their faithful friend. Fishing, golfing, painting, and even bungee jumping and paragliding are offered, all with pictures teddy can take home to his loving owner.

Prices range from 68 pounds for locals to 100 pounds for international teddies.

business is booming

A man drove six hours across Italy and into Germany before noticing he had left his wife at a petrol station.

Ljubomir Ivanov only realised he had forgotten wife Iskra when he got a call on his mobile from police to say she was still waiting for him at the petrol station near Pesaro, in central Italy.

He said: "I filled up the tank with petrol, paid and then just drove off. I was very tired and not thinking straight.

"She usually sits in the back seat so I didn't really see she wasn't there, until I got a call when I was already in Germany."


Oh, yeah

Here he is, the poor little bastard. Cloned Afghan Snuppy was created in Seoul from skin cells taken from the ear of a three-year-old hound. The cells were then placed in an unfertilised egg from a female labrador. Later, the egg was removed to be treated with electric current before it was put back in the labrador's womb.

And now the clone is fourteen weeks old. As if poor Dolly wasn't enough. She died of old age while still a lamb, because the cloned result is the same age as the original. And whatever happened to C.C?

It took more than 1,000 transplants into the embryos of 123 dogs, with the result being three pregnancies. One miscarried and another clone died after three weeks. Bloody hell, I'm glad I'm not a labrador.

News of Snuppy's birth is expected to bring a flood of inquiries from dog-lovers who want to clone their pets. Listen up people, you don't get your old pooch back, just a copy of its body, complete with arthtitis or whatever

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for Worst Writing Winners 2005

A 43-year-old quantitative analyst for Microsoft Great Plains is the winner of the 23rd running of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. A resident of Fargo, North Dakota, McKay is currently visiting China, perhaps to escape notoriety for his dubious literary achievement.

His entry, extolling a subject that has engaged poets for millennia, may have been inspired by Roxie Hart of the musical "Chicago." Complaining of her husband's ineptitude in the boudoir, Roxie laments, "Amos was . . . zero. I mean, he made love to me like he was fixing a carburetor or something."

An international literary parody contest, the competition honors the memory (if not the reputation) of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873). The goal of the contest is childishly simple: entrants are challenged to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Although best known for "The Last Days of Pompeii" (1834), which has been made into a movie three times, originating the expression "the pen is mightier than the sword," and phrases like "the great unwashed" and "the almighty dollar," Bulwer-Lytton opened his novel Paul Clifford (1830) with the immortal words that the "Peanuts" Beagle Snoopy plagiarized for years, "It was a dark and stormy night."

The winners of the Winners of the 2005 Awards

419 and all about Scam Baiting



What a delightful way to start off the day! If you can't get the nerve up to try a little scam-baiting yourself (like me) do the next best thing -- go to 419eater.com and read about it from your armchair

So what is scambaiting? Well, put simply, you enter into a dialogue with scammers, simply to waste their precious time and resources. Whilst you are doing this, you will be helping to keep the scammers away from real potential victims.

There's an archive of hilarious exchanges. I'm still chuckling over :

'Prince' Joe Eboh contacts me with a classic 419 opening letter. I decide to make him jump through a few hoops before I'm prepared to agree to his proposition, and the results are amusing AND profitable, to the tune of $80 + $49 DHL shipping, so our scammer is down a whopping total of $129

Cheer yourself up !

Some people have nothing better to do


Meet Zhang Xingquan who alleviates his boredom and entertains his neighbours before lunch with this totally useless trick.

He walks on eggs without breaking them. OK, you say. So what? Don't most of us walk on eggs most of the time? As the TV commercial says - But there's more! To add an extra touch to this hackneyed display he also pulls a car with his ears.

Zhang says he's been practicing since he was eight, and that he can also pick up a 25kg bicycle with his mouth while standing on eggs. If he has so much spare time he can come and defrost my frig

Plenty of Fish for dinner . Shark Derby catch



Fisherman on Martha's Vineyard, Massachusets, USA. display a massive 1,100-pound tiger shark. If you can work that to kilograms please let me know!

This photo was taken on Sunday, July 17, 2005. Unfortunately, the fisherman failed to capture first place in the monster shark derby because their boat was six minutes too late in returning to Oak Bluffs harbor with its catch.


(AP Photo/Chris Lewis, ohmycod.com)